Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Colours

Its been a few months but basically bookmark this page, I will update it as often as I can. It will have a bit of everything including songs to download, just click the yellow links that will take you to the download page. Here just press download now or download original. Enjoy.

Sneaker collecting seems to be very popular at the moment and I'm not sure why. I know revisionists can pick up new colour ways of shoes they grew up wearing and put them aside for no one to enjoy but I think it couldn't be a worse time to do so. I think the person who is designing these shoes is this man.
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He has really taken the principles of colour theory and shat all over them. What was anyone thinking making these designs? They make no sense on so many levels...
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To take away the nasty taste from the Nike Crimes series sample two great songs about colours. One is sort of housey, the other break into your housey...

Colours - Hot Chip(Fred Falke remix)


Colors - Ice T


Smuggling stuff is always fun, look at this masterstroke a Mexican had trying to get himself across the border. He "became" the vehicle...
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Cant bring your own booze? How's this well disguised hip flask...
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This device lets you drink from a fake beer gut under your clothes...
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Good Design is always nice.
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Bad design is always hilarious, look at these fine examples of the Russian building industry.
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In Ghana they actually hand paint Film advertising posters, gives an authentic feel...
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Lego is fun.
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Ever wanted to hear Snoop Dogg go country? Here it is...

Snoop Dogg - My Medicine

Jim Groman has my dream job. He has been designing Madball toys for over twenty years in their various incarnations. He also designed the Barnyard Commandos and Food fighters toys during the height of gross out toys in the 80's. His executive decisions would basically be "Do I go with more pus, or perhaps some more exposure of the brain"? Groman, I salute you.
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Screamin' Jay Hawkins started off as a boxer in the army before he realized he wanted to be a singer becoming perhaps the first shock rocker.
He fathered over 75 illegitimate children, appeared in several films and toured with The Clash and Nick Cave. His last release before death was "Black music for white people"
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Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I put a spell on you

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The Ramones - Spiderman theme

The Grand National are two English geezers that make pretty nice stuff. See them if you can. Here's a couple tracks...

Grand National - By the time I get home


Grand National - Drink to moving on

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NAMBLA is a real organization. Formed in the early 70's The North American Man/boy Love association campaigns on the platform of being a "support group for intergenerational relationships," and uses the slogan "sexual freedom for all." Basically they are sick of being discriminated against for being pedophiles. They meet monthly in New York and site Allen Ginsberg as a past supporter.
Talk about an uphill struggle, can you pick a more unpopular activity than sexual relations with children? If you don't believe me that they exist look it up...Here they are taking it to the streets.
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I will leave you with a couple more songs from the Presets who are touring as we speak. Here is a light old one and a dark new one....Should have new post in a few days....Bookmark me!
The Velvet Hammer.

The Presets - Summer of Love


The Presets - Kicking & Screaming

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Mac's suck

I have never really liked the fascination that Americans seem to have with humiliation.
They seem to like tearing people down as much as they like propping them up.
Comedy Central has what they call roasts where a celebrity is insulted and humiliated in front of a television audience. Comedians take turns in dishing out the insults on each other and then take a seat and sit quietly as they too get picked on.
Jamie Foxx decided to break the rules of the roast and not play along. Know that he actually destroyed this guys career.
One of the most cringe inspired things ever, I cant watch it. Here it is below.









Recapping on the glow in the dark fish (I tried to import them, its still illegal), Japanese boffins have invented these, yes cats come in glow now....
How cool would that be.
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Don Hertzfeld is an animator that was hired by very large companies to do a series of shorts advertising their products. Don gladly took the large amounts of money and moved along with the work. Everyone was rejected. His anti corporate stance I think is evident below. Imagine them first being viewed in the boardroom.






I think the designer of this Masters of the Universe Figure, Fisto was trying to create a gay icon. The handlebar Moustache, purple tunic, giant fisting fist and he is called Fisto!
He is practically barking showtunes!
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Everyone has strange slanguage that is used in their little social circles that would not really make much sense to outsiders, the jocks at my school said the term "Have a pasty" for about 5 years and Im pretty sure that they still even now in all their bald shattered glory still get a kick out of it..
In 1971, a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California used to meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke cannabis at the Louis Pasteur statue. They had the term "4 20" as something to say whenever weed was to be smoked. This caught on from their suburb to the gratetful dead crowd and has now entered popular culture. There is now national 4 20 day in many cities across the globe. Here is the Santa Cruz celebrations.
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Noting that "the national weed smoking day is 4/20," rapper Method Man named his 2006 album 4:21...The Day After.
I think that smoking weed is pretty much the rankest thing ever. I once saw a girl do a bucket bong in a toilet.
Feminine.
I do not want to be part of any "mac community", Itunes fucking sucks and ipods you cant even drag files off of. You also cant play any games on macs, download free programs or easily copy files.
I love my pc but I dont harp on about it....

Meet Jules, he is a robot. Think by the time we are 70 what his relations will be like. I think Jules is actually less wooden than Keanu Reeves.






Alien and Aliens are excellent films. Predator though less sophisticated is a well made spectacle and also an amazing film. They cross pollinated the two films last year with the dire Alien Vs Predator that haunted fanboys eyes all across the globe and angered fans of the original films. This film made Adam Sandler films look good. Alien Vs Predator 2 has a creature that is half alien, half predator, the Predalien some would call it. Here it is. This is as embarrassing and passe as Krumping. Look at its dreadlock/tail hair. If I saw this in a hallway I would prey for its acid blood to burn the massive grin off my face. Why must they fuck with the classics? When is Hamlet Vs Robocop coming out? Chucky Vs Erin Brockovich ?
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Aliens, UFO's, ghosts, yeti's, Michael Jackson and other spooks are not real, I wish they were but they are not. And why are there no new ghosts? Where is the kid hit by a car on a skateboard ghost or the fubu jacket wearing junkie ghosts? At what point did the afterlife stop giving us spectral apparitions? All ghosts seem to be from hundreds of years ago in churches etc;
These UFO's caught on tape in Haiti are pretty amazing non believers....






Richie Manic was in the band Manic Street Preachers. When a journalist asked whether his punk rock values were real in an interview he quietly pulled out a razor blade and carved 4 REAL into his arm. The injury required hospitalization and seventeen stitches. Prone to anorexia and bouts of severe depression he was frequently in poor mental health.
Richie disappeared on 1 February 1995, on the day that he and another band member were due to fly to the U.S. on a promotional tour. He gave no warning and said goodbye to no one. No body was ever found or evidence of foul play. Over the years there has been Richie sightings from hippie markets in India and around other islands in the region. All attempts to find him have failed, the band still has an account for his royalty money should he return.
Im pretty sure I saw him working as a kitchenhand at Klemzig Barnacle Bills.
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Pornography and computer games rarely meet, especially in the halycon days of computers in the eighties. Check out these vintage atari porn games, I cant believe Custers Revenge where the aim is to rape a tied up squaw. Classy.







Norman Mailer i have always admired. He is considered one of the great novelists and was the first person who stated in her biography that Marylin Monroe was murdered by agents of the FBI and CIA who resented her supposed affair with Robert F. Kennedy. Mailer was married six times, and had several mistresses. He had eight biological children by his various wives, and adopted one further child. Like many novelists of his generation, Mailer struggled with alcohol and drug abuse throughout his life. He made an avante garde film called Maidstone in the 70's and cast a young Rip Torn who you will know as the boss in Men in Black. Torn thought it would be a good idea to hit Norman on the head with a hammer as the cameras were rolling, an improvisation of sorts. The results can be seen below. This scene was actually kept in the film and they remained friends.






Keira Knightley needs to stop pouting.
Watching her is like picking fly shit out of pepper wearing boxing gloves.

Submission of the month is the flying scissor inverted heel hook, one of the most difficult moves ever to pull off. I thought rather than you learn it, you might like to see it in action, dont worry, no one gets hurt. Look how fast Anderson silva (Who is obsessed with Spiderman) taps. Roger Ramjet Narrates.






The ozone layer is dying, several species of animals are dying daily and you know what else is dying?
Men.
Here is Part one of an expose on real men. Men who mattered, men who came to chew gum and kick ass....
And there all out of gum.

Gaddafi controlled Libya in the 80's and really pissed of Reagan. Especially when he kept blowing 747's out of the sky. Remember Lockerbie? He mellowed in his later years but always kept his trademark sunglasses on. Oh yeah his personal security team are all female soldiers dressed in unique cammo, 30 of them. Thats power.
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Mickey Rourke was considered the next Brando before alcoholism, bad manners and corrective surgery from boxing nearly killed his career. Once he was knocked out so bad he had no memory for 2 weeks, he watched all of his movies with him in them with no memory of them happening, how surreal is that! He also in Wild Orchid was actually having sex in the sex scenes with then partner Carrie Otis. He collects chihuahua's and has a sanctuary for them in California.

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James Coburn has perhaps the coolest voice ever heard. His best friends were Steve Mcqueen, James Garner and Robert Vaughn. He mostly played cowboys and soldiers. He got really sick in the 90's and claimed to have healed himself by eating pills made from sulfur. You probably remember him from the ghastly sadistic film Payback.
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Lou Carpenter fucking owns. Out of all the people in Ramsay St, Lou is the best. If I were him I would dig up Bouncer and use his bones as projectiles to throw at any member of the Rebeckie clan. In real life the actor Tom Oliver owns a small island and grows prize winning mango's. He is a stalwart of Australian television and an inspiration to us all.
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Robert Blake played tough guy Baretta in the tv series of the same name. He was a master of disguise, a craft that seems to have been lost. In real life he hung out with mobsters and when his wife had an affair with Marlon Brando's son he had her shot in the head outside a restaurant. There was not enough evidence to put him away. He played the Mystery man on the phone in The Lost Highway which is one of the creepiest things, even for David Lynch to be ever put on film.
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Kinky Friedman was in country and Western band called The Texas Jewboys who had a big hit in the 70's with the song " Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed". He then decided to write crime novels set in new york where all of the characters were his actual friends. They are very amusing, read them. He also ran for president in Texas and came very close as an independent. He also has his own action figure, brand of chilli sauce and animal sanctuary. My favorite line of his is " Find something you like and let it kill you".
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Grandpa Munster was that guy that you just new was getting loads of tail. Even though his tastes were a little older, you knew that they were GILF's.
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Marlon Brando just looked cool. Until he got old, took a awful weight supplement that had the opposite effect and became a parody of himself.
He bought an island in Tahiti and rarely left it. He charged 3 million bucks (20 years ago) for one weeks work playing Supermans father and demanded top billing even though he is in the film for 1 minute. He was into dudes on occasion and is quoted as saying: "If Wally Cox had been a woman, I would have married him and we would have lived happily ever after. After Cox died, Brando kept his ashes for 30 years; they were eventually scattered with his own. Cox's third wife only discovered he possessed them after reading an interview in Time where Brando is quoted as saying: "I have Wally's ashes in my house. I talk to him all the time."
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Galactus actually is the Universe. He can eradicate your life as we know it with a single thought. He eats solar systems. He farts, whole planets explode. Portrayed as a shadow in the reprehensible Fanstastic 4 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer he actually sports a pink helmet and tunic. He uses the rings of Saturn to get stuff out of his teeth. Eating planets will always be cool.
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This is the first part of Street Fighter: The later years, its very funny.






Van Damme erection

Hello people I have just come back from the hospital because I accidentally swallowed a 2 dollar coin.
The doctors are adamant there is still no change....
When you pick your costumes try and outdo these kids. Amazing.






I have wanted to experience a lot of things in life. Watching Jean Claude Van Damme achieve an erection was not one of them.






My friend recently lent me a pornographic tape, it was called gang bang sluts No 13. I was a bit pissed off, how would I be able to know whats going on without seeing the first 12?

Hotchickswithdouchebags.com is pretty much the funniest site on the web. It features absolute cannon fodder with their mandanas, tweaked hats, fake tans, fluro collars up next to their female counterparts....you get the picture, its sort of like Parklife on line.
I have provided a sampler of some pics most of the people pouting or throwing up not in a gang signs. People pouting in photos is the most horrific thing ever, its not funny or pretty, you are not in a magazine,you look like a carp, stop it. Here we go.
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Everyone seems to ask why are these hot chicks hanging out with these idiots? The answer is a very simple one. A large amount of attractive women are fucking idiots.

This Whippet has a genetic disease but lives a perfectly happy life on an English farm. Lets meet him.
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I have always wanted to release a new cut of Schindlers List where Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" plays over the credits.

Tonya Harding was an olympic ice skater that hired a bouncer to smash her rivals knees in with an iron bar ensuring her a gold medal. She was caught and became a pro boxer sticking with the violence theme. She is broke now and sells this tabasco sauce with the catch phrase "Not for the weak kneed". This world is all class.
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If I ever was going to drown Id like to be really thirsty before it happened so I would get that tiny bit of satisfaction. I think a big bag of potato chips should be provided on boats in the first aid kit if the emergency was inevitable. I would be like if Im going this way, Im going parched.

I like the fact that I am as preachy about being an atheist as an annoying god fearing person. I mean isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
Here is a list of famous Atheists.
Douglas Adams, Woody Allen, Lance Armstrong, Darren Aronofsky, Isaac Asimov, Richard Branson, Warren Buffett, George Carlin, John Carpenter, Asia Carrera, Fidel Castro, Noam Chomsky, Billy Connolly, David Cronenberg, Rodney Dangerfield, Ani DiFranco, Brian Eno, Jodie Foster, Janeane Garofalo, Bill Gates, Bob Geldof, Ricky Gervais, Katharine Hepburn, Eddie Izzard, Billy Joel, Angelina Jolie, Bruce Lee, Tom Lehrer, H.P. Lovecraft, John Malkovich, Barry Manilow, Todd McFarlane, Sir Ian McKellen, Arthur Miller, Frank Miller, Julianne Moore, Jack Nicholson, Gary Numan, Camille Paglia, Terry Pratchett, Ron Reagan Jr., Keanu Reeves, Gene Roddenberry, Joe Rogan, Henry Rollins, Salman Rushdie, Steven Soderbergh, Eddie Vedder, Paul Verhoeven, Gore Vidal, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Joss Whedon, Matt Groening.....

Jay Adams was a very cute little kid. He is considered the original aggressive skateboarder and became quite popular even singing on a slinky commercial. He then fell in with a gang affiliated with band Suicidal Tendencies and got into a whole heap of trouble. He was greatly homophobic and beat up a couple of gay men, one died in the process. He is still in jail and is also without a septum in his nose, he has one nostril from years of cocaine abuse. His stepfather took photos of him as a child and a book of these photos called Jay Boy is being sold in order to set up a fund for his family. Here is a pic.
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I met someone that had an activity sensitive name. I was in Myer in the menswear section and a storelady said "If you need anything my name is Tessa" I thought what if I don't need anything, whats her name then?

They can make fish glow now. They are for sale all over America for about 7 bucks each. The fluorescence in the fish is produced by a fluorescent protein gene, which creates the beautifully colored fluorescent protein that can be seen when looking at the fish. The fluorescent protein genes are naturally occurring genes which are derived from marine organisms. They are not for sale here in Aus yet but I am looking into it. They react under a black light also. How cool would some of these be!
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Bearforce 1 are a group of beaver leavers that need to be seen to be believed.






Submission of the month is the Anaconda Choke, I like this one as its quite easy and involves a gator roll. Try it on your partner. Always let go when they tap.






Kevin Smith has done a whole of stuff. He wrote and directed Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob, Chasing Amy, all that stuff. When he made the film Dogma religious groups protested. He went to one of the protests as a joke (he is actually a devout catholic) with a fake placard and was interviewed on live tv pretending to be disgusted with the film. No one realized that he actually wrote and directed it. He made Clerks 2 which is actually one of the most painful, low brow films ever made but he is a very captivating speaker and a great storyteller. He spoke at this lecture about a very famous film producer that he was assigned to make a Superman film with. Stick with it, its all strange but very true. This shows how nerdcore I am.






Genesis P-orridge sang in an experimental band called Throbbing Gristle that pioneered the use of pre-recorded tape-based samples. Now he is part of Pandrogeny a duo consisting of him and his female partner. He dresses as a woman and has had breast implants but maintains a straight relationship with his girlfriend who has undergone surgery to look more like him. Meeting each other halfway so to speak. He has also had all his bottom row of teeth removed and replaced with gold caps.
Its a start...
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My middle name is derived from my grandpa's name.
Kane Grandpa Banner.