Sunday, June 22, 2008

Frasier Crane


I missed a month, it was a leap month though so I will catch it up later....

I think we should start with one of the best youtube vids you will ever see.
This guy was born vertically challenged but it did not stop him from becoming one of the most important figures in the filipino midget martial art scene. I actually sat through one of his movies "For your height only". Lets look at the short arm of the law.

I was sitting at a restaurant the other day and a small child was running around causing a slight ruckus. When the mum was quizzed about her spawns behaviour she stated that he was just "tired".
This was the same thing my mum would say every time I was feeling energetic and full of beans. Do some mothers have bursts of oppositus ? When her child is asleep is it in hysterics?
This phenomenon is also present when you ask someone how their party went, to which you know it went badly as they nearly always say "I had a good time"....

Also remember when you were told not to eat before you swim as you will get a "cramp"?
Another tapestry of lies. I have done this a million times, it just doesn't happen.
When I am an adult making shit up for my kids at least I am going to get creative.
"Son, don't go using blue pencils now, you know they will turn you into a girl". Imagine the character that would build...

This is Peter Lorre. His head and voice were John K's inspiration for Ren Hoek. See?
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Now we all know Scientology is odd and proves wealthy celebrities are as simple and easily lead than anyone. And when you think about it UFO's, alien princes and dead ghosts being the source of all "bad" behaviour is just as ridiculous as plagues of frogs from the sky, burning bushes, parting seas and rising from the dead. Their stories are just a bit more updated. The most damaging thing and the best point this video makes is their attitude towards the mentally ill. It has some horrible corpse shots so dont watch it if you are easily shocked. The Kronos Quartet scary music was not needed either.

Where the wild things are is everyone greatest childhood book memory. That is my opinion, if you do not like this, I have others. Spike Jonze is making a live action movie. Here is a teaser shot. Prepare to Geek out in Kickassery.
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Here are three of the worst albums ever made.
Worst moment? "Bugs" This reminds me of jocks wearing frogskins drinking farmers union iced coffees. I know they bought this but I think they thought "Jeremy" was arty enough.
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Nas this year made the public statement saying "Hip Hop is Dead". It is also the name of his new LP. He knows this is true as he is one of the people that killed it starting with this. It was the red headed stepchild of his previous 2 albums.
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DJ Shadow is genuinely amazing. Apart from this absolute sonic Hindenburg. I dont even know where to start.
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While we are on music, capturing the essence of a certain time and energy is rarely ever done or more to the point ever seen. If you ever find Heavy Metal Parking Lot buy it to pass on to your children. A young film maker documents a Judas Priest concerts' audience in the car park getting loaded before they go in, total date rape crowd. Here is the trailer. Aesthetically not much has really changed.

While we are on relics of the 80's this should be suitable.
The book First Blood was written about a slight blonde man named John Rambo (named after a type of apple) reacting to poor treatment from American society after he returned from the Vietnam war. He developed post traumatic stress disorder and became a drifter and displaced. First Blood became a great film featuring only one death and a pro vet but not pro war rant at the scenes climax. Stallone's speech is slightly marred by the fact you cant really understand what he is saying. This is because he has partial paralysis in the left side of his face from birth complications. The sequel Rambo is one of the most racist and ridiculous films ever made. The third installment actually sees Rambo teaming up and training the Taliban (Whoops!) against the Soviets.
This is the trailer to the fourth installment, John Rambo. It looks as if he has 6 barley sugars in each cheek and it was filmed for 3000 bucks in Bali somewhere. I began to expecting some pissed tourist in a bintang t shirt to wander into shot at any moment. It also juxtaposes extreme violence with christian monologue. Stallone directed Stayin' Alive the sequel to Saturday Night Fever, thats actually not a joke. "Attacking Soon"

On a lighter note sometimes life imitates art imitating life. Watch this first.

Then this.

There is no evidence that Vikings ever wore horned helmets. They were depicted that way by enemies to make them seem more devilish.
Salvador Dali once wore a lobster on his head whilst ringing a bell walking down the main street of his town. As a child he used to throw himself down flights of stairs to get attention from the injuries he would achieve.
You can legally drink beer at 16 in Germany.

Submission move of the month is the Gogoplata, a real nice one. Try it on your partner, maybe it will "spice up" some of your marital arts.

I have always said drugs make interesting people boring and boring people irritating.
You agree?
My crappy dad jokes extent to graffiti too...
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The Garbage Pail Kids were trading cards in the 80s that were part of the whole "gross is good" movement. They pretty much shaped me to who I am today. My mum threw out my entire collection to which I still bring up when ever she is trying to guilt trip me. They made a live action kids film which is one of the most disturbing un pc things you will never see. Meet them...

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