Sunday, June 22, 2008

Spiderman 3

I just saw Spiderman 3. I loved Spidey as a youngster and although I share my last name with Dr Bruce Banner (the hulk), Spidey was my favorite.
There is a few things wrong with this film, let me break it down.

Mary Jane sings 3 complete songs.

Peter Parker gets his new look from Jared Leto of 30 seconds to Mars.

There is a scene that focuses on the green goblin making an omelette whilst dancing.

Peter Parker plays the piano and dances on the tables of a jazz cafe.

Mary Jane sings some more.

Peter struts through the streets to the Saturday Night fever theme song whilst pointing at passers by. It goes for quite some time.
It looks like this.
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I was expecting him to start barking Showtunes or Liza Minelli to pop out as a villain.

By the way iron Man is coming out with Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark
A new Hulk movie with Ed Norton as Banner and Liv Tyler as Betty is a year away too.
Please let them not include any musical theater.

Gator was one of my hero's as a young boy. He was a pro skatboarder, sorta punk and had a good neon look. Later on he fell in with born again christians, literally wanted to make crucifix shaped ramps and changed his name to Mark Antony after the Conqueror. He then became an alcoholic and one night butchered and raped his ex girlfriends best friend. He thought that would give her the peeves.
There is a great doco on it called Stoked which highlights not so much the negative stuff but the enormous boom of the mid eighties skate scene. It was very different to this modern era, much more colourful and interesting. Here is the trailer....

It is also weird for me to realize Lance Mountain, Ray Barbee and Christian Hosoi are now all heavily into Jesus.

Why are toilets bowls white? Its not a canvas for gods sake, they all seem to be white. Bathrooms should be dark so the grime isn't seen as much. You can still clean them, I just think its a little strange....

Are there Bipolar bears?

Are there wet dream catchers?

Nigerians dont mess around trying to look tough with pitbulls to secure their manlyhood, this is how they roll.....
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Cage is a rapper. Not usually into hip hop but his album Hells Winter is quite good. He used to be in a band called the Smut Peddlers where they would literally throw a little retarded black guy called beatlejuice into the crowd. Here is a brief telling of his life.
Stick with it, its full on.

+ Born in Wurzberg, Germany to American parents. His father, Bill Murray, was an MP in the US army stationed on West German military base where Cage and his parents lived until Bill was dishonorably discharged for selling and using heroin. When he was 4, Cage and his family were sent back to the US where they took up residence in Middletown, NY.

+ When they got to Middletown, his father continued to abuse heroin, often making Cage assist by pulling homemade tourniquets around his arm. His father left them suddenly with another woman. The last time Cage saw his father, he had a standoff with the Middletown state troopers after threatening his family with a shot gun. He was arrested and Cage has not seen him since. He was 8 years old at the time.


+ By the time his mother was on her third marriage, Cage was getting kicked out of Middletown Highschool during his freshman year. His stepfather would beat him up, punch him in the head, even leaving a scar over his eye. Around this time, Cage started using drugs (LSD, mescaline, weed, alcohol)

+ His mother sent him to live with his uncle (a Vietnam vet who never retired from the army) on a German military base for a year. That uncle hated him, beat him up and sent him home to America after a year.

+ Chris started getting into all sorts of trouble, including getting arrested (for drug possession, fighting in the streets, etc). He was 16 years old at this point. He was put on probation for charges, but after several violations found himself facing real jail time. His mother convinced the judge that Chris was mentally unstable and instead of prison he was sent to the Stony Lodge Psychiatric hospital for a 2 week evaluation which turned into an 18 month stay.

+ During his stay at "The Lodge", Chris was part of a small group of medical guinea pigs who were chosen to be the test subjects for a new and untested drug called Prozac, which hadn't hit the market yet. Misdiagnosed and placed on Prozac, Cage became suicidal and made several attempts to try and kill himself (first by hanging himself by his own shoe laces, then by saving up his mandatory lithium doses for a month and ingesting all at once). He was subsequently put on suicide watch.

+ He was restrained over twenty times for periods of up to 13 hours at a time (illegally), sometimes by straightjacket, sometimes by 10 point bed restraints. Cage would later refer to this period in his life as his "rap college". He would spend his time doing the only thing he could, which was go deep into his mind and hone his imagination into the visceral and dramatic writing style he has to this day.

+ After being subjected to Lithium, Prozac, and a host of other drugs (and then even more drugs to counter the side effects produced by all the initial medication), Chris went from being a troubled teenager into a legitimately bi-polar young man.

I met Cage last year at his Concert where he said I had "nice skin". He was also covered in sweat and chewing his jaw off at the time....not exactly what I thought he would say. Here we are...He looks a little like Peter Parker in Spidey 3....he is musical too....
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Top gear features Elderly British men probably called Clive road testing fancy cars. They thought it would be funny to drive through Alabama with pro gay slogans written across their cars.
They nearly died.
Lets watch it now....
Since this was filmed one of the hosts is in a coma from a car accident.

Lionel Richie is a very unattractive man. Black dorks are quite rare and it looks we've really snagged one here. I have made a few observations about this clip.
I think the actual message is one of demented racial insurrection. I think he is trying to say as black people, as white people, if we unite through wearing pastel clothing we can band together as a force against the police and authority. A theme heavily lifted from 1979 masterpiece The Warriors. This can be seen at around 2.47 of the video. Its obvious to see Lionel's attitude to authority, as the law enforcement officer easily crumbles and succumbs to Richie's popular jungle rhythms. This is the melody of Grand Wizard Lionel Richies' Interacial Uprising.
Also around 3.03 of the clip you see one of the first gang symbols thrown up and caught on tape, its done really fast and he tries to do a little dance to distract from it but its there.....
See for yourselves.

>Here is a few more vids to entertain you and perhaps reward you for reading that whole Cage thing up above....

This is one is interesting. Its long and if you want part two look it up. 9/11 conspiracy theory...Americans are silly really.

Danny Elfman wrote the Simpsons theme music as well as Batman, Spiderman and most movies made lately. This was his band in the 80's. You are all familiar of the movie it came from, Weird Science!

These 80s toy ads are amazing, tell me "Fisto" with his studs and Village people beard wasn't heading back to the Blue Oyster Bar after dealing with Skeletor...

Look at Serge Gainsbourg after a few telling Whitney just what he thought of her on live tv.....

And heres a young Dame Judi Dench (in the octopus outfit) on a Japanese kids tv show.

That is all.

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